


"Can I Keep Them?"

by TrashCompactor



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Flirting, Drabble, Drinking, Humanformers, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Partial Nudity, Sentence Prompt, Swerve is a mess, Transformers as Humans, disclaimer: i have never used a dating app before so it might be a bit factually inaccurate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 03:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14323308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashCompactor/pseuds/TrashCompactor
Summary: Swerve joins Rewind and Chromedome for a bar concert and ends up making a dating profile. What happens next will warm your heart.-- --Another sentence prompt drabble!





	"Can I Keep Them?"

“I very much am fishing for compliments, I’m just waiting for the hook to pick some up.”

Chromedome gave a disapproved sigh and turned his attention to the rest of the party, which Swerve was cool with. His phone, despite his best efforts to coax any notification out of it, remained empty of matches for the better part of the evening. Or maybe it had been the entire evening. 

It was hard to judge time in the bar, and Swerve had just worked up a very satisfying buzz. Between the heart-thumping music, the hellaciously dancing crowd, and how quickly his wallet was starting to drain, Swerve felt like the night could go on forever. Chromedome and Rewind had offered to take him out for an evening when they snagged concert tickets for some band Swerve had never heard of. Or maybe it was that Swerve overheard them talking about the concert, and then jumped onto the opportunity, but they clearly seemed to be having a good time.

“You took shirtless pics in the bathroom and called yourself Big Sexy on a dating app.” Chromedome fingered the rim of his glass, looking stuck between irritated and completely over the whole situation. Swerve brushed off his coarse remark.

“Yeah, it lets them know exactly what I’m here to do! I’m trying to cut to the chase, honestly I’m…” he waved a hand languidly in the air, trying to parse the words together that seemed to have so suddenly left his mind, “I’m so over the dating scene, yknow?”

Rewind put a hand over his partner’s, trying to either comfort or remind Chromedome that they lived next to Swerve and to not say anything stupid. “We just hope you aren’t doing anything you may… regret later, is all.” 

Swerve blew a raspberry and watched his drink shimmer as he swirled it in his own glass. “When have I ever done something I’d regret?” He didn’t offer the other two enough time to answer that. “I own my own pub that I run pretty much single handedly. Which, by the way, the catering here? Abysmal.” The couple in front of him shared a look, a look that Swerve knew they’d have to have _a talk_ about afterwards. “Not only that, but I’ve been supporting myself in my own apartment for like five freaking years now!”

“Accidentally getting Rung shot isn’t a regret, huh.” Chromedome commented under his breath. Swerve remembered his phone and immediately decided this exchange had met its end.

Between usual notifications on Facebook, and Magnus reminding him of his rent for the fifth time that week, there was no new match from the dating app. It was utter torture.

The concert had gone through about its fifth or sixth number, the small crowd in the bar keeping a near endless energy to it. Swerve tried dancing for a while, but he couldn’t get a good view from his short and stocky stature, and called it quits over the accursed heads of all the tall people. However, Swerve didn’t come to bar concerts to just sit in a booth and _canoodle_. He ended up with more drinks in his hands through the night, and at one point ended up sobbing shamelessly into a rando’s shoulder over how no one wanted him enough on Tinder. 

He checked his phone for the umpteenth time back in the swaying crowd. Swerve took a second to really admire his handiwork in the photos. Under sober circumstances, Swerve probably would’ve found the selfies utterly repulsive. His self esteem was his least admirable trait, this he knew. For shitty bathroom lighting in a backwoods bar concert, they didn’t seem half bad to him. Hell, if he didn’t look at his face, his large stomach and colorful briefs almost looked cute. Suddenly, Swerve ended up getting jostled from behind as another dancer rammed into him. With a completely dignified yelp, his head found a cold, hard purchase on the floor of the concert venue, vision going black for maybe a few solid seconds.

“Swerve. Swerve!” He distantly heard Rewind’s voice.

“You okay buddy?” Swerve first saw the outstretched hand of Chromedome. Lifting his cheek from the floor with a decidedly grotesque sticky residue, Swerve took his friend’s hand and hoisted himself up. Some of the other folks around had given Swerve room, one offering his dropped phone back with a lovely new crack to the screen and a piece of chewed gum hanging from the back.

“I think you’ve had enough time out here, let’s get you home.” Chromedome offered him a pat on the back. The crew led Swerve out onto the city streets, he ended up slumped on Rewind pretty heavily, but the other didn’t seem to mind.

The drive home remained fairly content and quiet. Swerve felt about ready to conk out as soon as they all got back, he swore his heart was still pounding from the bass. Swerve nearly forgot about the dating app until they pulled into the Lost Light apartment complex.

Giving his phone a quick scrub with the hem of his shirt and checking the new crack again, the screen suddenly lit up with a friendly ping from a message. 

Swerve nearly lept out of Rewind’s car in triumph, holding his phone high in the air. “Ha! I did it! Hook, line, ‘n sinker!”

“Is that Whirl outside your place?” Rewind questioned. Swerve looked back towards the couple, confused why they had their attention on the buildings and not on Swerve’s epic match game. He gave a glance towards his floor, without the front lights on he could only make out a lithe shape against the wall. Swerve felt his phone vibrate again with another message and brought it up to his face.

[Whirl: Did you accidentally send me your nudes?]

[Whirl: Can I keep them?]

Swerve scrolled back in horror as the link to his Tinder profile flashed up bright and inviting from his most recently sent message from the club. His bare chest, sultry drunken gaze, and near obvious liquor dick the first thing the app decided was a good preview for his apartment mate.

“I’ll be right back!” Swerve spit out, scurrying around the couple in the most nonchalant way he possibly could. He bound up the steps to his floor, turning the corner to lo and behold, Whirl leaning on his door.

Whirl fixed his gaze on the man, single amber eye giving an almost cat-like glow in the low light. “You know, Swerve,” he gave a sinister grin, “I never thought I’d pin you for the type to be so _forward_.” One of his prosthetic claws tapped lightly on the wall.

“Yeah, uh, listen, I’m sorry those ended up getting sent to you, man. It was an honest accident, I really fucked up-”

“Oh, no no, I’m fully aware.”

“You- you are?” It may have been the alcohol that left him so dumbfounded. Whirl snaked an arm around Swerve, which must’ve been uncomfortable with how fucking tall the other was.

“Why would I have asked to keep them otherwise?” 

“Are you gonna forward this to everyone?” Swerve was almost bracing himself for the punchline, there was no way in hell that his apartment neighbor was actually _into_ his outrageous display. “Oh please tell me you’re not gonna be sending these to any of the guys. I won’t be able to live this down for weeks!”

“Swerve, buddy, you know what? Let’s keep it ambiguous.” Whirl pinched Swerve’s cheek with one of his claws and retracted himself. “You’re a great guy, even if a horribly dense one.” Whirl started pacing back to his own apartment, and Swerve gave a deep sigh. That guy was one of the stranger characters he had to deal with.

He hadn’t even keyed back into his place for more than two minutes when his phone gave another ping. Swerve fished it out, seeing that he had a new comment under his most recent photoset from a user.

[Feel free to send more if you ever have another trip like this <3 >;) ]

Swerve deleted the photos and his profile before he went to bed that night.


End file.
